Meredith's Hard Time
by jojo1924abc
Summary: Story about Meredith, including her anxiety. Feedback gratefully received!
1. I can't breathe

"Go Mer!" Christina demanded, watching her best friend struggle for air.

"I'm fine" Meredith panted.

She obviously wasn't fine. For as long as she can remember, panic attacks had always been part of her life. However she hadn't had one in ages. Both she and Christina were halfway into their 4 hour surgery together. Meredith had been working long shifts, staying up late to do research and when not working, seeing to her two beautiful children Zola and Bailey.

"Someone page Dr. Shepherd. Now!" Christina said, "Get me another surgeon too" she said looking to her young interns watching.

"Christina I'm fine, just leave it" Meredith said, her voice getting weaker by the second.

"Derek's in surgery" an intern called.

Just then Arizona and Callie appeared at the viewing screen.

"She doesn't look too great" Arizona said, turning to Callie. Just then both of their pagers went off.

"No you're right, erm... You scrub in, I'll get Grey?" Callie suggested.

A few minutes later Arizona and Callie made their way into the OR.

"Come on Grey" Callie said, offering her her hand. Meredith was too weak to respond, she followed Callie out as she helped her remove her scrubs apron, mask and hat. They made their way to the staff locker room at the end of the corridor before Meredith couldn't stand no more and fell against the wall.

"Whoa, I got ya Grey." Callie said, standing in front and placing her arms under Meredith's, guiding her to sitting position.

"Can't…b..bre"

"Hey, we've done this before remember, walk in the park" Callie gave a small smile, seeing her distressed friend smile a fraction too.

"Calli.." Meredith tried to moan, shivering with the cold.

"Shhh, just take slow deep breathes. In and out" Callie said, doing it with her. She stood up to go over to the cupboard, fetching some oxygen and a blanket. "I'm still here" She said, gently placing the O2 mask over her fragile face. "Slow deep breathes" Meredith never had any energy to argue, she put all of her energy into breathing.

"That's it Grey" Callie said, crouching on her knees, rubbing her back softly in circular motions.

Meredith all of a sudden tried to stand up, pulling of the oxygen mask, gasping she was fine.

"No, no Grey, you can't.." She tried to get through to her, trying to get her to sit back down, but before she could sit, she lost consciousness and fell to the floor, Callie holding onto her and going down with her. "Dammit Mer" Callie quietly mumbled, before shouting at the top of her voice for help, whilst putting the mask back over Meredith's face.

Dr Bailey came wandering in, unaware of the events that had been going on. "What on earth?" She said in disbelief.

"She started to have a panic attack in the OR, Arizona's in there now. I bought her back but she's just passed out…" Callie explained quickly, keeping Meredith's head still.

"Derek?"

"He's still in surgery I think"

"Dammit Grey"

"That's what I thought" Callie knowing the seriousness of what had happened.

* * *

A while later Meredith was laid in a hospital bed, still unconscious.

"Poor thing" Miranda said looking towards Callie. "She hasn't had one this bad in ages"

"I know, she looks pretty exhausted"

"Derek shouldn't be too long, I'll go wait for him when he finishes surgery and tell him."

"What about the kids?" Callie questioned.

"Oh, they went to Derek's moms this morning. Don't think Grey here was too happy" Miranda laughed, knowing what Derek's mom was like. "Right, I'll go fetch Derek when he's done"

Around about half an hour passed. Arizona walked into Meredith's room to find Callie sleeping, her head in her hands on Meredith's bed. She walked up to Callie, "Hey sleeping beauty, cheating on me?" She giggled, moving Callie gently of Meredith's I.V.

"What?!" Callie sleepily and quickly got up, "Oh hey" She smiled. Arizona gave her a kiss and run her hand through her hair. "Don't tell me I was on her I.V?" Callie questioned, rubbing her eyes, "Damn, I must have dozed off"

"Ha, how is she doing?" Arizona asked, sitting on the edge of Meredith's bed, gently not to disturb the blonde.

"Erm, dehydrated, exhausted, I don't know what happened. One minute she's doing surgery, next minute she's having a panic attack, now she's here unconscious." Callie said confused. "Oh how did the surgery go?"

"Good, the boys in recovery, Christina's updating the parents just now, she was pretty worried about Mer though the whole time."

"Yeah, it's hard knowing what to do, she still hasn't waking up. Poor thing can't have slept in days"

"What the hell happened?! Mer?!" Derek questioned, barging into her room, seeing his wife lay there, followed by Christina.

"Shush you idiot," Christina said, hitting him, clearly seeing Meredith's eyes were closed.

Callie filled him in then left with Arizona and Christina.

"I should never have let her come in that OR." Christina said.

"Hey, you weren't to know, no one was" Arizona said, patting Christina on the back.

* * *

Derek sat at Meredith's bedside, holding her hand in his, not letting it go, not for any reason looking away from his wife's face. "Oh Mer," He said gently, rubbing his finger down her soft cheek.

He began to see her eyes flicker, squeezing his hand with a light pressure.

"Hey lovely" Derek said softly, softly pushing her hair back and helping her take of the oxygen mask.

"Wh…what happened..." She whispered, her eyes struggling to stay open.

"Don't worry about that, you just rest. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere" he said, planting a kiss on her forehead and placing the mask back over her face, before he knew it, she had closed her eyes again, falling peacefully back asleep.

Feedback gratefully received!


	2. My Fault

Alex stormed down the stairs. He slammed down a pile of paperwork on the desk, not saying a word.

"Whats wrong with you?" Arizona questioned, laughing.

"Don't even speak to me."

"What have I done?!" Arizona said, turning to Callie who nodded her head at Alex.

"Girl trouble probably" Christina giggled, walking up behind Alex.

"What are you doing here?" Alex eventually said

"Erm, my job?" Christina laughed again.

"Where else would she be?" Callie asked.

Alex and Meredith were due to meet with one of their patient's parents as soon as Meredith was finished in surgery, but Meredith never showed up.

"Isn't she meant to still be in surgery with super Meredith?" He said sarcastically. "Or has she got better places to be? Seeing as she couldn't be bothered turning up to the meeting. 45 minutes I was sat there, looking like a complete twat, making up excuses for her. Just when I thought she had my back." He moaned, picking up the paperwork and storming off.

Callie shouted, "Alex wait, she wasn't avoiding it!"

"Leave it Torres" Alex said, not wanting to listen.

"Whoah. Okay!" Christina said, "What the hell was that?!"

"I'll go after him" Arizona said, kissing callie on the cheek and running off to explain.

* * *

"How you doing?" Derek said softly, removing the oxygen from Meredith and gently removing the hair from her face as she began to open her eyes.

"Fi…"

"Don't say fine" He laughed, holding her hand as she squeezed it as hard as she could.

"Can we go home?" She said, still drowsy.

"I'll go and see" He smiled. "Back in a minute"

As he left, Christina came in, saying at the top of her voice, "Wow you'll never guessed what just happened with Alex. Sometimes he acts more like a teenager than an actual teenager! How are you anyways?"

Meredith tried to sit up a little, fully opening her eyes. "Alex..? Oh no, I was meant to.."

"Hey, it doesn't matter. He wouldn't even let us expla.."

"No, he's had this meeting planned for.."

"Stuff him, the patients alright are they not? And I'm sure the parents will understand. Alex just needs to grow the hell up!"

"Where is he?"

"Don't worry about that. He'll probably snap out of it"

"This is all my fault" Meredith said to Christina, her breathing getting faster.

"No it isn't, don't worry about it, just try and relax" She replied, noticing her heart rate getting faster. She placed the oxygen back over Meredith, "forget about him and focus on your breathing." Christina wasn't really good at dealing with her friends as patients.

"Dere…" Meredith gasped.

TBC, Sorry for delay. will update asap!


	3. What do I do?

Christina tried her hardest to calm down her best friend, but nothing she tried would work. Meredith needed Derek, not her, making her feel useless in a way.

"Mer, you need to slow down your breathing" Christina tried to tell her.

"I…I nee"

"I know Mer, but right now he's not here" Christina replied, running out of ideas how to calm her distressed friend down.

"So, how's my favourite intern doing.." Bailey said looking down at her clipboard and walking straight into the room. "What happened?" She suddenly said, looking at Meredith and throwing her clipboard towards Christina.

"I..I don't know…I don't know what to do" Christina said quietly, "I don't know wh.."

"Find Derek Yang. Now!" Bailey stressed, sitting on the edge of Meredith's bed. "Just breathe slowly sweetie, in and out." Bailey said, taking a gentle grip of Meredith's hand, making her feel a little bit safer.

"Alex.." Meredith gasped, attempting to remove the oxygen.

"Ha, that's going nowhere, you hear me?" Bailey joked with her a little, putting the mask back on. "Don't worry about Alex. Ill sort him" She smiled, still breathing with Meredith. "That's better isn't it" She said, placing her other hand on top of her hand already holding Meredith's. "You feel better now?"

Meredith nodded her head. "I hate..."

"Being a patient? A pain?" Bailey finished of her sentence laughing.

"Oh thanks" Meredith smiled.

"See, that's better" Bailey smiled back, removing the oxygen. "Now where's that friend and husband of yours?"

"Probably moaning because you called me your favourite." Meredith giggled.

"I don't mean these things!" Bailey smirked back. "Anyways, you should be resting. I'll be back in a bit okay?"

"Thank you" Meredith said quietly.

"What for" Bailey smiled, not expecting an answer and exiting the room.

* * *

"What happened?" Derek asked, spotting Miranda in the corridor. She soon filled him in on what had happened.

"Damn, I should have been there" He sighed. "Here, I got this thrown at me" Derek said handing her back her clipboard. "Something up with Christina? She told me about Alex, said I was needed here then stormed off. What is up with everyone today?"

"I'll go find Yang" Bailey replied.

"Yeah, and I will go and find Karev" Derek said, quietly but angrily, walking off.

"No you don't" Bailey said placing her arm in front to stop him going off. "Leave Karev too me, you go and be with Meredith. She needs you"

Derek opened the room door to find his wife sleeping. He quietly walked over to her bed and lay down next to her.

"Hey" She said sleepily, her eyes still shut.

"Shh, just sleep" He said, letting her lay her head on his chest.

"Is Christina okay? And Alex?"

"Don't worry about them. Just concentrate on you for a change" He said, gently rubbing her head.

Sorry for the chapters currently being short, will update soon. Thanks again.


	4. I'm sorry

It had just turned 8am when Derek started to awake. Bailey came in through the night to check on Meredith but seen them both soundly sleeping so quietly checked her iv then left them be. Derek gently lifted his wife's head of his chest and laid it on the pillow, being careful not to awake her, then moved a blanket more over her before softly kissing her head and leaving the room. As he made his way to the staff room, he saw both Alex and Christina sitting at the table so he walked over and sat down, not saying a word and taking out his phone.

"Sorry man, for everything" Alex said.

"Yeah, we both are, I neve.." Christina butted in.

"Leave it, both of you" Derek said, looking at his phone the entire time at a picture of him, Meredith and their two beautiful children.

"Can I do anything?" Alex questioned.

"Yeah, you can apologize to Mer." Derek said, slamming his phone down on the table and putting his head in his hands. Derek blamed Alex in a way for all the events that had recently taken place. He had Meredith up late most nights, focusing on a patient nonstop, then went off on one when she never showed up to the meeting. Miranda had filled Alex in on what had happened, making him feel like he had never felt before. Guilty for making one of the only people who can put up with him in a state like that. But he wasn't the only one.

"You too" Derek turned to Christina.

"I'm sorry, I just blanked, that never happens to me, I just needed out of there" Christina replied.

"You needed out of there?" He questioned.

"Hey, it's not her fault" Alex said to Derek.

Just then Owen walked in and could automatically sense the tension. "Everything alright in here?" He asked, placing his hands on Christina's shoulders from behind.

"Fine" Derek replied, walking out.

"Everything okay with Meredith?" Owen asked.

"It's not Meredith that's the problem. Or Christina." Alex said, feeling even guiltier, also walking out the room.

"Want me to have a word with Derek?" Owen said, sitting next to Christina.

"Just leave him, he's right I guess. Alex going off on one and me not even being able to calm her down. What kind of friend am I?" Christina moaned, hugging Owen.

* * *

Christina had finished her shift hours ago, along with Alex, Owen, Callie, Arizona and Miranda. Callie and Arizona had went home, but the rest stayed for Meredith. Although she was unaware of the fact. Owen eventually took Christina home, shortly followed by Bailey. No one knew where Alex disappeared to.

* * *

"You look awful" Meredith smirked as Derek walked into her room.

"Wow. Thanks." He laughed, going over to kiss her and sit in the seat next to her bed.

"You should go home and get a shower" She laughed, gripping his hand.

"Im not leaving you again"

"Its fine. Im a big girl" She giggled. "You heard from your mom?"

"Yeah, the kids are fine. Still alive" He laughed.

"Don't say that!" She replied, moving her other hand to hit him but accidently pulling her iv. "Ow" She quietly maoned.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fi.."

"Shh," He smirked again.

"When can we go home?"

"Soon, I promise. You need to stay for a while to be on the safe side"

"But its not as if you wont look after me" She laughed, trying to make light of the situation. "Or wont you" She said giggling.

Derek smiled back, he never even noticed how dehydrated or exhausted she was, making him feel guilty.

"Have you seen Alex?" She questioned.

"Kind off. Bailey filled him in."

Just then Richard walked in. "Bailey just got off the phone" he said.

"Hello to you too" Derek replied.

"He was just about to head home" Meredith quickly said, while she had the chance. "Go, I'll be fine" She smiled.

Derek stood up and head for the door. "Look after her" He whispered as he walked past Richard. "Love you" He said to Meredith.

"Love you too" She said sleepily.

Richard went to sit in the seat that Derek had just left.

* * *

Richard and Meredith spoke for a little while before Meredith drifted off. "Sleep tight sweetie" Richard said softly, smiling and rubbing his finger down her cheek.

Around 20 minutes later, Alex was standing at her room door.

"Now are you going to just stand there young Karev or are you going to come in?" Richard said quietly to him, placing the newspaper he had been reading on his lap.

"Im probably not wanted here. Look what I done" He replied, turning away.

"Hey, its not your fault, she would want you here. I promise you. And Derek's away home for a bit. If he causes trouble send him to me" Richard said, getting up and patting Alex on the shoulder. Alex went over and sat next to Meredith's bed.


End file.
